My New Religion

Tuesdays and Thursdays are my new high holy days, the dual sabbaths when the garbage man comes to take my sins away.

He’s often a lowly figure from the bottom rungs of society, ignored mostly, except when he fails in his mission.

Unlike my previous messiah, I can see him and he responds when I beseech him to slow down as I run behind his truck as it pulls away.

I’m a Roamin’ Catch-All worshipper, there are those who have split away and say I should follow only the Recycler, but I remain faithful to the original Refuse Collector and his trinity. He accepts recycling on Thursday, all other waste on Tuesday and urges me to compost daily, as it is done at the landfill.

Next week: How will universal health care affect my auto insurance?