By ALEX DOMINGUEZ
JNS War Correspondent at Large
March 10, 2003 18:09
WASHINGTON (JNS) _ President Bush today declared France, Germany and Russia the `Axis of Weasel' for their ongoing opposition to a war on Iraq, reminding Americans to boycott Russian and German goods as well as French.
``I know many people have been dumping their cheese, wine and Camembert and refusing to sell anything French,'' the president said. ``And I understand that. I'd also like them to know there are a lot of sauerkraut eating, vodka swilling people who are also against this war.''
Bush said he has stopped stopped drinking beer and ``I'm not eating Beluga caviar, sauerkraut or borscht. That'll teach that Axis of Weasel.''

On a related matter, Homeland Security czar Tom Ridge said he has received reports that the Easter Bunny and a group of leprechauns have reverted to their pre-Christian pagan beliefs, raising concerns of terrorist attacks by the group. As a precaution, Ridge said he has raised the terror alert status from pastel blue to pastel yellow.