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June 08, 2001
Israel to free colonies

Posted by Edward R. Murrow on Friday June 08, @08:41PM
from the End-of-an-Era dept.

RAMALLAH, West Bank (JNS) _ Israel freed its two colonies on Friday, ending the world's last colonial empire.

Prime Minister Ariel Sharon said troops would begin pulling out of the West Bank and Gaza immediately and warned settlers that they would not be protected after the evacuation period, which was expected to last a month.

``We realize we entered the colonial game too late,'' Sharon said. ``Just like Britain, it never really paid off.''

``In addition, our allies were not willing to fund a never-ending guerrilla war.''

The military also planned to immediately begin building a wall around the former colonies. Anyone caught trying to enter Israel anywhere other than tightly controlled checkpoints will be killed, Israeli officials said.

``Let the Arabs find jobs for them. They've got a huge oil patch,'' Sharon said.

Palestinian Liberation Organization leader Yasser Arafat said he planned to retire after recruiting true leaders, admitting he had no experience in anything other than managing revolt.

``It's been a good run, but all good things must end,'' Arafat said.

Sharon said his country planned to switch to a U.S. model of strict immigration policies to control which groups constitute the much-needed cheap labor force.

Non-Jews will be allowed into the country and will have the same rights as any other citizen. Selective prosecution of crimes, however, will be aggressively pursued as in the United States.

``We're also thinking about setting up some maquiladoras,'' Sharon said. ``And we could use some lettuce pickers.''

Posted by Alex at June 08, 2001 08:41 PM
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