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January 24, 2003
The Count in Vegas, Chapter 2: The Offer

By Alex Dominguez
From the Crass Commercialism Dept.

LAS VEGAS (JNS) _ Hispanic consumers are very brand loyal, executives from Microsoft and the National Beef Council tell the Count.

The beautiful thing about their concept is that many Hispanics don’t have computers, and most beef isn’t branded. A targeted combination approach using a spokesman such as ``El Conde’’ could capture both markets, they say.

``We need to reach them while they’re young,’’ one says pulling out life-size cardboard cutouts of the Count in what appears to be a pirate outfit without the hat.

``The CowNT serves beef!’’ reads a parchment scroll in one figure’s left hand. Another screams: ``Beef up your system with NT!’’

Television, cable, magazine ads are planned at first. Depending on the success of the effort, action figures and even a Count-themed Las Vegas hotel are possible.

No wonder I was tailed, El Conde thinks, these two markets are huge.

``Gentlemen, thank you for your time. I’ll have to consider this and get back to you,’’ the Count says.

El Conde as superhero? An impressive platform, he muses as the scrubby desert glides by on the way back to Orange County.

Suddenly everything around him is action-oriented, even the rolling desert _ punctuated by sandy stretches and rocky outcroppings pushed up by the titanic collision of tectonic plates.

``I like the sound of that,’’ El Conde thinks to himself. ``Titillating.’’

Posted by Alex at January 24, 2003 01:30 AM
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