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March 10, 2002
Bush declares ``Axis of Elvis:’’ Miss., Tenn., Ala.

By Alex Dominguez
from the Weapons of Mass Consumption dept.

TUPELO, Miss. (JNS) _ Mississippi, Tennessee and Alabama were declared the ``Axis of Elvis’’ on Thursday by President Bush for their continued development of weapons of mass consumption.

``While doctors and other people have been telling Americans for years that fat kills, retailers, restaurants and consumers in these three states continue to purchase and serve high-fat foods,’’ the president said at an appearance before a faith-based charity umbrella group.

Restaurant inspectors said they have frequently found industrial quantities of mayonnaise, hamburger, and even peanut butter in the three states.

Even healthy foods such as catfish and chicken breast were frequently found to be fried and served with a dipping sauce that was often little more than mayonnaise. In many cases, restaurants were not open when inspectors arrived, leaving inspectors no way to determine what was being served and how it was prepared.

``Despite years of warnings, these practices continue, against their own people. Something has to be done, even if we have to act alone,’’ Bush said.

Former President Clinton played down the concerns, noting any food can be enjoyed healthfully in moderation, and said he would push for pardons if charges are filed.

``I feel yorgh pehcnrgh, excuse me,’’ the former president said, wiping his lips.

Posted by Alex at March 10, 2002 05:24 PM
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